Final Draft of "The European Year of Reconciling Work and Family Life"

A recent, sharp increase in the number of dual-career families and a simultaneous drop in birth rate have led to the question of how to improve the current situation of families living in Europe. In response to this question the EU has taken action and designated 2014 the Year of Reconciling Work and Family Life.  Throughout the next year special attention will be given to the organization of the labor market and to the modification of company-specific policies. Regarding these policies more flexibility of the working cycle should be given to female employees and childcare provided by companies is planned to be expanded. Another main aim of the EU’s European Year 2014 is to promote family-friendly policies and their implementation as well as to respond to familial challenges. Inequality, social exclusion, and lack of economic efficiency are among the conflicts that affect the situation of dual-career families in Europe, a situation that the EU is planning to change quintessentially. In conclusion, a great number of the goals the European Union has set to achieve in the upcoming year are related to the improvement of the living standard of families living inside the EU borders.

[194 words]

Final Version II

A recent, sharp increase in the number of dual-career families and a simultaneous drop in birth rate have led to the question of whether the current situation of families living in Europe needs to be improved. In response to this question the EU has taken action and designated 2014 the Year of Reconciling Work and Family Life.  Throughout the next year special attention will be given to the organization of the labor market and to the modification of company-specific policies. These policies should be made more family-friendly, for example in providing more flexible working hours for female employees and in expanding childcare. Another main aim of the EU’s European Year 2014 is the implementation of these family-friendly policies, as well as to respond to familial challenges. Inequality, social exclusion, and lack of economic efficiency are among the conflicts that affect the situation of dual-career families in Europe, a situation that the EU is planning to change drastically. The upcoming year will prove whether or not the European Union can achieve the goals it set and bring about great changes in terms of the well-being of families in Europe. Until then the fight to reconcile family and work will continue.

European Year 2014

After receiving some feedback from my group members, I started writing a second draft of my original paragraph.

A recent, sharp increase in the number of dual-career families and a simultaneous drop in birth rate have led to the question of how to improve the current situation of families living in Europe. In response to this question the EU has taken action and designated 2014 the Year of Reconciling Work and Family Life.  Throughout the next year special attention will be given to the organization of the labor market and to the modification of company-specific policies. Regarding these policies more flexibility of the working cycle should, in the future, be given to female employees and childcare provided by companies is planned to be expanded. Another main aim of the EU’s European Year 2014 is to promote family-friendly policies and their implementation as well as to respond to familial challenges. Inequality, social exclusion, and lack of economic efficiency are among the conflicts that affect the situation of dual-career families in Europe , a situation that the EU is planning to change quintessentially. In conclusion, a great proportion of the goals the European Union has set to achieve in the upcoming year are related to the improvement of the living standard of families living inside the EU borders.

Feedback
- move "in the future"
- exchange "proportion" with "number"

European Year of Reconciling Work and Family Life

The past image of women staying at home, doing the house chores and raising children has in recent years turned into an expectation of women being able to lead a double life, one as a mother and wife and one as a career woman. This expectation has, however, led to an increasing number of families suffering from the conflict between their working and family life and in a decreasing birth rate. In order to raise awareness of this conflict and to improve the living and working situation of families in Europe, the EU has designated 2014 the year of reconciling work and family life. Throughout the next year special attention will be given to the organization of the labor market and to the modification of company-specific policies. The main aim of 2014’s European year is to promote family-friendly policies and their implementation as well as to address the challenges families in Europe have to face and to discuss methods for solving these. The focus will be on several of these challenges, including gender equality, childcare and on more flexibility of the working cycle regarding pregnancy.
[183 words]

Feedback
- Topic sentence is too long, a bit less formal than the rest of the paragraph
- Concluding sentence is not a perfect conclusion